I love this story. I am currently pregnant with Crohn’s and a diverting colostomy due to an inconveniently located fistula… I really wanted to be off Humira and have an ordinary home birth, but despite my best efforts I had to go back on it, and it looks like the fistula may still be there, so I may be in for another C-section. Glad you all got to do it, though!
Our first child was delivered in a small-town hospital, and came so quickly that the doctor barely got there in time. I was stuck in the hall, agonizing over my wife's cries. The second one, 4 years later, was in a large hospital. She asked the doctor if I could be in the delivery room. He was very skeptical, but agreed. Once he saw that I wasn't going to pass out, he became a showman, adjusting the mirror so I could see everything. It was a much better experience for both of us. The third, and final, was in a different hospital and was to include the two of us bathing the new baby after birth. Unfortunately complications prevented that, but it was still a far better experience than the first one.
A lovely story which completely echoes my own. It was my experience of a hospital birth that led me on a journey of questioning all medical practices and what is actually necessary. It felt so wrong after having a perfect pregnancy to be frightened into an induction and the whole shebang. Second pregnancy at home was so calm and quick. Onto the third now and I think I’d actually prefer like you to have a baby without even the disturbance of a midwife! Yours sounds like the perfect tale.
My babies were born over 30 years ago. I was about 30. Years old. What still bothers me are three things: 1) pre-birth pressure to do dangerous DNA testing via abdominal needle extraction of amniotic fluid, 2) immediate unforewarned afterbirth pressure to have tubes tied as I lay on birthing table ( The fricking nurse pushed a clipboard and pen with authorizing docs in my face. ) 3) and the vaccination of my newborn children.
5 “natural” births here. Like you and your wife, after the first traumatic experience in a hospital I realized that there was something not right about how they did things. Thankfully, a sister and a few friends helped me question and our next birth was at a private midwife’s birth center. There we realized we had just arbitrarily driven to some one else’s house to give birth and our third and fourth babies were born simply and safely at home with midwives.
My fifth baby was a planned homebirth transferred to hospital after 12+ hours of labor and ended up in a c-section for breech presentation (which can be potentially handled at home in a best case scenario - I was a natural breech birth myself - but in my case, baby was stuck).
Anyhow. After all our lovely midwife births the hospital was like a prison. It was dirty, dark where it shouldn’t be and bright where it shouldn’t be and every time we got a chance to try rest, another person came in to poke, prod and otherwise disturb us. And they were so hostile (starting as soon as we declined injections). We left there having had to threaten them with calling our lawyers.
Insane.
Like school, birth is best at home. If that’s not possible, go private with a midwife.
I didn't have a good experience at the hospital with my first child.
I hired a midwife for the 2nd and had a peaceful homebirth experience
One of the additional positives about homebirths is for the whole family to be together and sleeping in their own beds that night. My husband has a bad back so the hospital cot would have been painful for him. I do not sleep well at hospitals with all the activity at night there. I don't enjoy being at hospitals at all. We had also adopted a child before this 2nd birth and she and her older sister would have been displaced if I had left. So it was all so much more peaceful for the whole family.
I could feel furrowed brows and a grimace forming as I read the all-too-familiar account of yours/your wife's experience giving birth in a hospital and a wide smile spreading across my face as I read the description of your second child's birth at home. Bravo & many congratulations! I guess the only silver lining of doing it typical way is that you now value and appreciate even more the miraculous & empowering event that birth is without the inherent pathologizing that comes from allopathic med.
I *thought* I was being savvy by hiring a doula when my son was born, but in retrospect she offered little more than additional instruction in the birthing room & although I knew about the intervention domino effect & was determined to avoid a C-section, other labor/newborn-related interventions injured my son. At the time, I recall her talking about collaborating with an MD who was doing research in various maternal/newborn areas including the rise in milk allergies & inability of newborns to tolerate their own mother's milk.
If only I'd known then what I know now.
Many of us wish we had wised up & not succumbed to the pressure before our own children were born.
God bless. My first son born in a military hospital and things were done they thought I wasn't aware of that they did to move me along. Second son was between my second and third year of med school with a year off doing research. Birth took place on a bed in a house near to a hospital with midwife. I understand the looks from colleagues who can't understand why you would take that risk....
Medical field is fear driven. I am not in it now. My sons are in their thirties.
My wife and I have done all home births and glad it went so well for your wife and the new baby. My wife trained as a midwife before we got pregnant so she was well versed the in the hospital experience. I basically sat in the corner of the room, being quiet, sometimes holding her hand while she labored.
I love what you write, as a holistic healing practitioner I am loving your journey - home births again- empowerment all round and a wonderful start to your baby's life - love to you and your family x
I am happy for positive experience - it is a miracle in action (which is... natural). Both mine were born in our bedroom (inflatable pool). It was a privilege to witness the natural power, wisdom, intuition, reliance of truly human instincts and body, of a true woman and also truly be there for her. Happy for you! In the end the midwives were there only for over-watch in both cases.
People have already expressed a lot of my own thoughts/feelings, so I won't repeat them. But I will say I'm really impressed with your humility, I mean being an MD, and the way you gave the proper respect to the midwife.
I had my three in hospital with the CTG attached at my request. I requested an epidural with the first ( as I was scared +++ ) and she was a brow presentation and needed forceps in theatre. With my other two I made do with a TENS machine and gas and air. I wanted the CTG so that my husband could watch it and tell me the moment a contraction started ( as I couldn’t tell as early) and I would gasp away at the gas and air which I know takes 45 seconds to fully enter the system. He would tell me when the contraction had peaked and I’d immediately stop the gas and air, knowing that it would provide relief for the 45 seconds of the contraction going and then I’d be fully ‘sober’ by the time it wore off.
I had done 6 months obstetrics as part of my GP training so I trusted the staff at my hospital and felt safe. The most important thing is that the woman feels safe. Having said that the U.K. experience of childbirth is considerably more homely than the U.S. version.
I made a very wise statement to my midwife when in labour for the third time. I said ‘ it’s not the pain that’s the problem, it’s the fear of the pain’.
I do now wonder ( with the hindsight of turning into an anti-vaxxer!) what would happen if we just allowed the baby to stay attached to the placenta until it naturally detaches. Surely there would be some goodies being transferred from mother to baby during that hour ( stem cells? Clotting factors?). It seems very strange to me that Mother Nature has developed a system where newborn babies, that have to go through head crushing deliveries, are deficient in vitamin K and clotting ability!
I love this story. I am currently pregnant with Crohn’s and a diverting colostomy due to an inconveniently located fistula… I really wanted to be off Humira and have an ordinary home birth, but despite my best efforts I had to go back on it, and it looks like the fistula may still be there, so I may be in for another C-section. Glad you all got to do it, though!
So very beautiful
Congratulations 😁🎉
May God bless you all 🙏
Cheers 🍻
Michael.
Our first child was delivered in a small-town hospital, and came so quickly that the doctor barely got there in time. I was stuck in the hall, agonizing over my wife's cries. The second one, 4 years later, was in a large hospital. She asked the doctor if I could be in the delivery room. He was very skeptical, but agreed. Once he saw that I wasn't going to pass out, he became a showman, adjusting the mirror so I could see everything. It was a much better experience for both of us. The third, and final, was in a different hospital and was to include the two of us bathing the new baby after birth. Unfortunately complications prevented that, but it was still a far better experience than the first one.
A lovely story which completely echoes my own. It was my experience of a hospital birth that led me on a journey of questioning all medical practices and what is actually necessary. It felt so wrong after having a perfect pregnancy to be frightened into an induction and the whole shebang. Second pregnancy at home was so calm and quick. Onto the third now and I think I’d actually prefer like you to have a baby without even the disturbance of a midwife! Yours sounds like the perfect tale.
My babies were born over 30 years ago. I was about 30. Years old. What still bothers me are three things: 1) pre-birth pressure to do dangerous DNA testing via abdominal needle extraction of amniotic fluid, 2) immediate unforewarned afterbirth pressure to have tubes tied as I lay on birthing table ( The fricking nurse pushed a clipboard and pen with authorizing docs in my face. ) 3) and the vaccination of my newborn children.
At least I resisted the first two.
5 “natural” births here. Like you and your wife, after the first traumatic experience in a hospital I realized that there was something not right about how they did things. Thankfully, a sister and a few friends helped me question and our next birth was at a private midwife’s birth center. There we realized we had just arbitrarily driven to some one else’s house to give birth and our third and fourth babies were born simply and safely at home with midwives.
My fifth baby was a planned homebirth transferred to hospital after 12+ hours of labor and ended up in a c-section for breech presentation (which can be potentially handled at home in a best case scenario - I was a natural breech birth myself - but in my case, baby was stuck).
Anyhow. After all our lovely midwife births the hospital was like a prison. It was dirty, dark where it shouldn’t be and bright where it shouldn’t be and every time we got a chance to try rest, another person came in to poke, prod and otherwise disturb us. And they were so hostile (starting as soon as we declined injections). We left there having had to threaten them with calling our lawyers.
Insane.
Like school, birth is best at home. If that’s not possible, go private with a midwife.
Thank you for sharing this story.
I didn't have a good experience at the hospital with my first child.
I hired a midwife for the 2nd and had a peaceful homebirth experience
One of the additional positives about homebirths is for the whole family to be together and sleeping in their own beds that night. My husband has a bad back so the hospital cot would have been painful for him. I do not sleep well at hospitals with all the activity at night there. I don't enjoy being at hospitals at all. We had also adopted a child before this 2nd birth and she and her older sister would have been displaced if I had left. So it was all so much more peaceful for the whole family.
I could feel furrowed brows and a grimace forming as I read the all-too-familiar account of yours/your wife's experience giving birth in a hospital and a wide smile spreading across my face as I read the description of your second child's birth at home. Bravo & many congratulations! I guess the only silver lining of doing it typical way is that you now value and appreciate even more the miraculous & empowering event that birth is without the inherent pathologizing that comes from allopathic med.
I *thought* I was being savvy by hiring a doula when my son was born, but in retrospect she offered little more than additional instruction in the birthing room & although I knew about the intervention domino effect & was determined to avoid a C-section, other labor/newborn-related interventions injured my son. At the time, I recall her talking about collaborating with an MD who was doing research in various maternal/newborn areas including the rise in milk allergies & inability of newborns to tolerate their own mother's milk.
If only I'd known then what I know now.
Many of us wish we had wised up & not succumbed to the pressure before our own children were born.
#OBYGNsaredangerous
#pediatriciansaredangerous
God bless. My first son born in a military hospital and things were done they thought I wasn't aware of that they did to move me along. Second son was between my second and third year of med school with a year off doing research. Birth took place on a bed in a house near to a hospital with midwife. I understand the looks from colleagues who can't understand why you would take that risk....
Medical field is fear driven. I am not in it now. My sons are in their thirties.
My wife and I have done all home births and glad it went so well for your wife and the new baby. My wife trained as a midwife before we got pregnant so she was well versed the in the hospital experience. I basically sat in the corner of the room, being quiet, sometimes holding her hand while she labored.
I love what you write, as a holistic healing practitioner I am loving your journey - home births again- empowerment all round and a wonderful start to your baby's life - love to you and your family x
Congratulations!
I am happy for positive experience - it is a miracle in action (which is... natural). Both mine were born in our bedroom (inflatable pool). It was a privilege to witness the natural power, wisdom, intuition, reliance of truly human instincts and body, of a true woman and also truly be there for her. Happy for you! In the end the midwives were there only for over-watch in both cases.
People have already expressed a lot of my own thoughts/feelings, so I won't repeat them. But I will say I'm really impressed with your humility, I mean being an MD, and the way you gave the proper respect to the midwife.
Amazing... beautiful!! Congrats 🍾💐
I had my three in hospital with the CTG attached at my request. I requested an epidural with the first ( as I was scared +++ ) and she was a brow presentation and needed forceps in theatre. With my other two I made do with a TENS machine and gas and air. I wanted the CTG so that my husband could watch it and tell me the moment a contraction started ( as I couldn’t tell as early) and I would gasp away at the gas and air which I know takes 45 seconds to fully enter the system. He would tell me when the contraction had peaked and I’d immediately stop the gas and air, knowing that it would provide relief for the 45 seconds of the contraction going and then I’d be fully ‘sober’ by the time it wore off.
I had done 6 months obstetrics as part of my GP training so I trusted the staff at my hospital and felt safe. The most important thing is that the woman feels safe. Having said that the U.K. experience of childbirth is considerably more homely than the U.S. version.
I made a very wise statement to my midwife when in labour for the third time. I said ‘ it’s not the pain that’s the problem, it’s the fear of the pain’.
I do now wonder ( with the hindsight of turning into an anti-vaxxer!) what would happen if we just allowed the baby to stay attached to the placenta until it naturally detaches. Surely there would be some goodies being transferred from mother to baby during that hour ( stem cells? Clotting factors?). It seems very strange to me that Mother Nature has developed a system where newborn babies, that have to go through head crushing deliveries, are deficient in vitamin K and clotting ability!